Sloppy Kisses, "Twerking", And 20 Years of MTV VMA Memories
How does the time pass so quickly??
Ohhh shit, this is my tenth Substack newsletter! I don’t know why it feels like such a milestone, but it does. It’s also the first time I’m doing two posts in one week! *cues confetti cannon*
I realized that this week is a big one in terms of pop culture anniversaries. 20 years ago this week, Madonna kissed both Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards. And 10 years ago, two important things happened at the 2013 MTV VMAs: Miley Cyrus’ absolutely unhinged performance with Robin Thicke, and *NSYNC reunited on stage for the first time in about 10 years.
Originally, I was going to split these into two things, but honestly, it’s the end of the week and my brain simply cannot handle that much work. So apologies if this is long, but at least you’ve been warned.
The summer of 2003, I was 17 and about to start my final year of high school. This was the second year the VMAs took place at the end of August — since the 90s, they had always been after Labor Day. I don’t know for sure, but I have a feeling the switch had to do with the fact that the 2001 show was only a couple of days before 9/11, and there was still a big fear in NYC about copycats. Funnily enough, 2003 was the first time in years that I wasn’t watching the show live. I was at an Aaron Carter concert with my friend. This was before social media, so I didn’t hear about the VMAs until the next day.
I remember being equal parts surprised and unimpressed by the whole thing. A big part of the VMAs is shock value, and Britney and Madonna are two performers who thrived on shock value. (I’ll get to Christina in a bit. I’m not purposely excluding her!)
Almost 20 years prior, Madonna took the stage in a white lace bustier, a crusted crucifix necklace and a belt buckle that said “boy toy” to perform her hit song “Like a Virgin” at the very first VMAs. During her performance, she dry humped the stage, rolled around and practically gave herself an orgasm. She was no stranger to using that stage to create a moment.
Britney was no stranger to using the VMAs stage to create her own shocking moments. In 2000, she performed “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” in a black suit and fedora before stripping it off to reveal a rhinestone flecked, flesh colored bra top and pants to perform “Oops! I Did It Again”. At the end of the song, she flung herself to the floor, gyrating and gesticulating wildly. “Ooh, I did it again!” she exclaimed at the end of the song. The following year, she donned a green bra/skirt combo and danced with a Burmese python around her shoulders to introduce the world to “I’m A Slave 4 U”.
So in 2003, Van Toffler, the then president of MTV, decided that he wanted Madonna to open the show. He wanted her specifically because he knew that she would court some sort of controversy. By 2003, the pop acts that had fueled the VMAs had largely disappeared, so they were in need of something that would get people talking about the show again. Well, Van got what he hoped for and then some.
The performance opens with two flower girls (one of whom is Madonna’s daughter Lourdes) walking down the stage throwing flowers. Soon, the camera pans up to a giant white wedding cake and the intro for “Like a Virgin” starts. (Watching the performance again made me realize how similar the intro is to Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” *insert side-eye emoji*) A figure in all white is atop the cake, and after she begins singing, Britney Spears reveals herself, dressed in a replica of Madonna’s ‘84 VMA costume. She sings the first first as she descends the cake, and then around the corner, another figure appears. This time it’s Christina Aguilera singing the chorus, dressed identically to Britney. Together, they walk the stage ad-libbing before dropping to the floor and imitating Madonna’s ‘84 moves.
Suddenly the music changes and from the cake comes Madonna dressed in all black, with thigh high black leather boots. Wearing a top hat, she is supposed to be the groom to their brides, but really it comes off as the foremother of modern pop and her daughters. She begins singing her new song “Hollywood” which feels weird because the show is so explicitly in New York City. The whole thing feels over rehearsed and also like it was the first time they were doing it. It lacked energy.
As Madonna begins a tango of seduction between herself and the girls, the camera does a closeup on Justin Timberlake. He is in his “Rock Your Body” era, complete with that goofy 80s WWE wrestler goatee. He comically raises an eyebrow, cocking his chin up in indignation at the spectacle happening on stage. Madonna is leading the girls around the stage in an exaggerated tango at this point.
(I say girls here because though they are both strong women in their early 20s, they somehow reverted back to being tweens in awe of the cool older girl at school.)
Then it’s time. Madonna and Britney lean in towards each other and share an open mouthed “kiss.” It kind of reminds me of when babies try to kiss you but they don’t know the mechanics of it. As Madonna leans towards Christina, the camera pans back to Justin, whose face is completely blank. We don’t actually get to see the Madonna/Christina “kiss.”
I say “kiss” because the action is super clunky and awkward. It would have been so much more impactful if it was close-mouthed, because there would have been a sexy cool vibe instead of an “I’m giving this young woman CPR standing up” vibe that it actually gives off. A lot of people will try to accuse Justin of stealing the moment or being jealous, but honestly, I don’t think that’s what it was at all. If you watch the clip, it’s almost as if the cameraperson is actually in his space. The powers that be said the reaction wasn’t premeditated, but I 100% believe that they planned to switch the focus to him to create drama.
Justin and Britney was one of the most pervasive celebrity breakup stories of the early aughts. She cried about him to Diane Sawyer, he had a Britney lookalike in the “Cry Me A River” video (which she knew about in advance!!) people still cared. I don’t think his reaction had anything to do with his jealousy, I think it had to do with the fact that he knew MTV had the cameras in his face because they wanted him to react.
So why was the whole thing so shocking? One, because you had Britney and Christina performing on the same stage. Theirs was a bitter rivalry that had started when “Genie in a Bottle” came out in the spring of 1999. Over the years, they had always been two sides to the same coin — cute Disney Channel girls turned pop tartlets turned brazen sluts.
In 2003, Britney and Christina were the perfect example of the “Madonna/Whore” theory. Britney was still seen as the flaxen haired virginal “good girl” with a bad streak, while Christina was the raven haired harlot who admitted to having her labia pierced. In the performance, they barely physically interact with each other; they’re kept to separate sides of the stage, and then literal Madonna is in between them. If they had been allowed to interact, it would break the illusion that a woman has to be either/or. In 2018, Christina expressed that she was bummed that she was left out of the “kiss” moment, but based on what the general public believed about her back then, I don’t think the kiss would have had the same shocking impact. If anyone was going to kiss Madonna on TV, it would be Christina Aguilera.
Now let’s fast forward 10 years to 2013. I was 27 and about a month away from my due date (or so I thought.) My friend and her boyfriend came over to watch the VMAs because I had cable. All the news reports were saying that *NSYNC was going to be reuniting that night on stage because Justin Timberlake was being honored with the Video Vanguard Award for his 15 year service to being a game changer in pop music history. Obviously now social media was a thing, so I had to go on a self-imposed hiatus so that I could avoid spoilers since I lived in LA at the time.
While the *NSYNC reunion was the thing everyone was tuning in for, we got the shock of a lifetime when Miley Cyrus decided to “twerk” and grind on Robin Thicke while dressed in flesh colored vinyl that made her look like an uncooked chicken. It was the twerk heard round the world, and if I hadn’t been completely sober, I would have thought I made the whole scenario up in a drunken stupor. It wasn’t a fever dream, it was a nightmare.
Miley was at the beginning of her Bangerz phase. For the VMAs, she performed “We Can’t Stop,” alongside a stage full of demented teddy bears while wearing a bodysuit that looked like Chuck E. Cheese if he had done a pile of blow. Her blonde cropped hair was in two space buns, and she seemingly had a problem keeping her tongue in her mouth that night. Bangerz, and more specifically “We Can’t Stop” was Miley’s culture vulture era, as the whole thing had a hip-hop sound to it, hence the twerking. It was an odd pivot that only lasted for that one era and moment, which is incredibly frustrating. She got to try on Black culture, make some $$ from it, and then pretend like she had no hand in it. I admit, “We Can’t Stop” is a bop, even now 10 years later. But as soon as I saw her get on that stage, I was peeved.
After jumping to the bridge of the song, surrounded by Black women, Miley peeled off Chuck E. and was left in a nude colored vinyl bra and boy shorts. She was too fleshed toned between the hair and the outfit and her actual flesh. It was a lot, and not in a good way. She dons a foam finger and starts singing “Blurred Lines,” which was the song of the summer. Robin Thicke, of course, joins her on stage in a black and white striped suit that left plenty of room for Beetlejuice jokes. They begin singing together, with Miley repeatedly hitting him in the crotch with said foam finger. As they sing the chorus, Miley “twerks” for the second time, but this time, her ass is directly on Robin’s crotch.
People were rightfully horrified. (My sister-in-law called her “a disgrace.”) I was horrified too, but not for the same reasons. Miley had been hell bent on making the public realize that she and her character Hannah Montana, were not the same person. Everything that was happening on the stage was her way of acting out. She was only 21, and while she went about the plan in a way that was less polished, she was definitely making sure people knew that Miley Cyrus and Miley Stewart were not the same person.
The general public took issue with a 21-year-old woman taking agency over herself and her image. They wanted her to continue being the sweet, goofy kid they knew from the Disney Channel, not a young woman who *gasp* was sexual. Having already been through this 10 years earlier during the Britney/Christina era, I was bored with this narrative. If Miley wanted to “act her age,” why should any of us care? I remembered being 21 and out in the bars and clubs with my friends. What she was doing, “acting out” on a public stage, was a normal, age appropriate development.
My issue with the performance had everything to do with the appropriation of culture that I saw happening on the stage and nothing to do with the actual act of twerking. It was nothing we hadn’t seen before, if you have ever watched a rap video, you’ve absolutely seen Black women shaking what their mommas gave them. But that’s just it, it was made for and by BLACK CULTURE. There is nothing we do that white people won’t eventually steal and emulate. That little white girl got up on that stage surrounded by a bunch of Black women and twerked. Did any of the Black women twerk? I’ll give you a guess. For the legions of people who had never seen such a thing, they now believed that Miley Cyrus had invented twerking.
Admittedly, I had less issue with Robin Thicke’s role in this performance. To his credit, he barely reacted to Miley’s weird advances. Even though it was just a performance, I think he understood what it would look like to the public if he engaged with Miley in any way. He wasn’t going to push her off of him, but he also never lays hands on her body, even when she “licks” his neck.
Of course, the internet had a field day with the performance. The comparisons between Miley and the uncooked chicken prevailed. Personally, I think it’s giving sphinx cat, but I also think they look like uncooked chickens, so it’s all the same I guess. If Miley was hoping to live up to the shock and controversy of the VMAs, she absolutely nailed it.
Interestingly, if you look on YouTube for the performance, the official video isn’t there! There are clips, but the only full video I found was this one:
Do you remember these performances? Is time a cruel mistress?