I'm Gay and Tired...

Sometimes you gotta answer the call

Substack sent me an email today like, “Hey girl! It’s been three months since you last wrote anything…you good?” If I could, I would reply, “Yes! I’m here! I’ve just been really busy writing for money, and stressing about work and money and also, the last post I wrote was weirdly personal and I didn’t know how to follow it up?” That all feels like the most honest response. Yes, I’m here. Yes, I still want to do this. But also, the world is on fire and I’m terrible at time management and keeping all of the plates spinning. I swear I’m going to make a more concerted effort to be better about writing this little thing. For now, I will commit to writing a monthly post. Hopefully I can write two posts a month. What would you all like to see from me? Please give me some concrete ideas, I’m legit stumped!

I feel like it’s worth noting that I write a parenting column for Autostraddle, so I don’t really want to write a ton of parenting content. Plus, with a kid who is almost TEN (!!), I'm kind of over writing about him. As far as content goes, he’s kind of boring. As a person, he is never boring; he’s one of the most hilarious kids I’ve ever met. He’s annoyingly talented (if you’re following me on social media, you’ve seen the videos I’ve posted of him playing his cello) and very smart! But he’s also a typical nine year old boy and as much as I love him, I’m tired of writing about him all the time. 

Like I said, I’ve been doing a lot of writing over at Autostraddle, including my aforementioned queer motherhood column. I’ve also been writing a lot of Young Adult book reviews, which has been a lot of fun, because I get to write about books I’m genuinely excited about and also forces me to read, which is something I love to do but don’t always make time for. Autostraddle has become my favorite place to write, mainly because nothing is off limits when it comes to ideas, which is equal parts exciting and terrifying, haha. I am always worried about running out of ideas, but then I’ll pitch an idea about how much I love Cherry Coke. Things have been really rough over there for the last couple months and it’s caused me a lot of stress, but I remain committed to writing over there for as long as they’ll have me. 

What’s Happening

It’s June, which means we’re three weeks deep into Pride month. LA celebrates Pride at the beginning of the month, so we’ve had our fill of Pride events for the year. We went to the West Hollywood Pride parade, and Dyke Day. Dyke Day is a lot of fun because we get to see friends and be outside, which makes us all happy. It’s held at a park with a playground, so the boy got to play and meet other kids. It felt safe enough to let him be at the playground largely unattended, mainly because he knew where to find us, where our friends were, and how to ask for help if he needed it. That is one of the benefits of having a big kid; one of my friends was there with her preschooler and spent most of the afternoon at the playground. It was rough getting to this point, but I have never been more grateful for having a big kid. 

I love celebrating Pride the ways we do. It’s more than just celebrating that we’re here and no matter what, we’re not going anywhere. It’s being able to hold my fiancee’s hand or kiss her without being worried that someone around us might take offense. It’s about seeing the ways other people express their own queerness; whether it’s through their clothes, hair, tattoos, body modifications. When we were walking to the park for Dyke Day, I told my son, “if you see someone with weird hair or brightly colored clothes, follow them; those are our people,” to which he replied, “those are YOUR people, I’m not gay.” But he didn’t mean it maliciously. 

This year, I did a slideshow about Pride for my kid’s class and some of their parents. It went over really well, and I was excited that no one was an asshole about it. The kids asked great questions, and really tried to understand. One mom asked if every queer group has a flag and I had to laugh. I only covered the most important ones, and it was still a lot! His school community if largely Mexican and Latine, and it was really nice that all of his classmates were open and engaged in learning about something they may not have a lot of experience with. At the end, they were asking me if I had heard of the queer people they know (I didn’t, mostly because they’re social media influencers and that’s not my vibe at all. But it was cool to see them making those associations. I don’t know if I’ll do it again next year, but maybe I’ll create something for the school to use!

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

As some of you know, Beth and I are working on a documentary called Feeling Seen. It’s about the representation of queer women on television, and it’s been Beth’s labor of love since 2017. She’s interviewed the creators of shows like Xena: Warrior Princess, The Fosters, and One Day at a Time. Last year we got to interview Rosie O’Donnell! It was really awesome. 

We’re currently fundraising to cover the expenses of the last third of shooting. We need to do about 15 interviews, and they cost $$! We don’t have those interviews lined up yet, but we need to interview people associated with shows like The L Word, Glee, and Grey’s Anatomy. Trying to find funding through grants or major donors is hard, and we’re crowdfunding to try and make as much happen as we can so that we can move to the editing process, which is even more expensive. 

If you’re in a position to donate, you can find all of the information on our website. I wrote about what the process is like, if you want to read about it! You can also follow us on Instagram: feelingseenfilm. I appreciate any and all contributions you can make!

Below, you can watch our sizzle reel. It’s really good, if I do say so myself.

What I’m Reading

Here’s a list of what I’ve been reading, and the reviews I’ve written.

Forget Me Not by Alyson Derick

This is the Way the World Ends by Jen Wilde (check out their Substack!)

If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come by Jen St. Jude

Ellie Engle Saves Herself by Leah Johnson

Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko

What I’m Watching

This past weekend, we went to see Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse and IT WAS SO GOOD. If you’ve seen Into the Spider-Verse, it’s a wonderful sequel that really builds on what the first movie created. It ended on a cliffhanger, and we were all freaking out. One person in the theater was literally like, “aw man!” very loudly.

Lately Beth and I have really gotten into food documentaries on Netflix. We just finished Street Food: US and another one about broth in Korea. We’re working our way through a series about tacos as well. They’re all interesting meditations on culture through food, but mostly they make us hungry!

We flew through the final season of Never Have I Ever, and I’m going to miss it a lot! There are plenty of things about it that bugged me, but ultimately, it was a very sweet show.

Both Wanda Sykes and Hannah Gadsby have new Netflix specials, and they’re both so great! I laughed so hard at Wanda that I kept waking up the dogs. 

There’s a documentary on HBO Max about Mary Tyler Moore that was really awesome as well. I highly recommend it! 

What I’m Listening To

Janelle Monae has a new album, The Age of Pleasure, and I love it! It’s perfect for summer; very dancey and sultry.

Niall Horan also has a new album, The Show, and I really enjoy it. One of my favorite bands, McFly, also has a new album out, Power to Play, and it’s so much fun.

So Long, Farewell

It’s summer break, so the boy is home until August. I will try to find time to work on another of these soon between activities with him, which mainly will include the pool and the park. I have some ideas I’m thinking about, so we’ll see if I can execute.