I'm Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

I'm talking about being a queer mom and sharing my belated thoughts on the Oscars

I feel like time is moving too fast and I genuinely suck at keeping up with it. We’re halfway through March! Like, how did that even happen? The last few weeks have been a blur of writing, writing, writing, and trying to keep all the balls in the air, lol. 

Let’s see what’s been going on since I last wrote. My last interview from the Autostraddle Black Elders Interview Project went up at the end of February. It was truly such an honor to participate in the project and I’m really proud of the interviews I did. I also got to interview Jerrie Johnson, one of the stars of the show Harlem on Prime Video. Jerrie is amazing; we interviewed them last year for the documentary Beth and I are working on and I was happy to interview her again for the show this year! It was cool because I got to open and close Autostraddle’s coverage of Harlem. 

Also! This week, the first issue of my new column at Autostraddle, Queer Mom Chronicles went live! It’s a monthly column that will be going biweekly in May (you heard it here first!) 

Kayla, the managing editor at AS approached me back in January and asked me if I would be interested in taking on this column. I’ve always known that one of the reasons I was brought onto the team was because of my background in parenting writing. If you’re close to me, you also know how much I’ve been trying to outrun my parenting past. But I was actually very excited to take this on. I realized that a lot of the reasons I was done with parenting was that I had run out of ideas for mainstream parenting sites. I wanted to write more about my experience as a queer mom raising a kid in a two mom household. There are some unique challenges and struggles we face. But the thing was I wanted to write it for an audience who got it. 

I’ve only written one column so far, talking about the struggles of writing for mainstream parenting sites and the response has been AMAZING. I asked people for some suggestions for future issues and man, they really came through. That’s why I’m going biweekly; I want to give them the content they’re looking for, but also be able to write about the stuff I’m experiencing at my crazy house. My kid is at a really fun age, but he’s also starting to grow up and it’s wild and wonderful and I want to share that with other parents who may not be there yet? But also provide service content to people who often find themselves on the fringes of parenting groups even though we’re all experiencing the same shit with our kids. Anyway, I’m really excited about it.

Now Hear This

Speaking of Autostraddle, we’re fundraising right now (fundraising is part of their business model) and it would be awesome if anyone who has some spare cash could throw some our way. It’s become a home and family to me, and I’d hate to see it disappear. Our photo editor Viv made this awesome graphic, and you can see our little pupperoni Stanley and our kitty girl Madeline.

Pop Culture Thoughts

I know I’m almost a week late and we’re not really talking about the Oscars anymore, but shut up, I can do whatever I want, this is my newsletter. First, if you haven’t seen Everything Everywhere All at Once, SEE IT. You’re going to have to watch it a few times, but every time we watch it, we pick up on something new. Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan absolutely deserved their Oscars, as did the directors, the Daniels. Fun fact: the Daniels met at Emerson College, which is my alma mater. We were all there at the same time, but as far as I can remember, our paths never crossed. But if we’re playing six degrees of separation, I’m only one degree away because we have mutual friends as I learned on Facebook Sunday and Monday. During their win for best director, Daniel Schneinert thanked Ken Cheeseman, who was one of my favorite teachers at Emerson. I hated improv, but I suffered through it every week because Ken was always such a joy to be around. I’m really happy that he got a shout out, because he absolutely deserved it. 

There was A LOT of controversy around Best Supporting Actress and Jamie Lee Curtis’ win. I will be 100 percent honest here and say I don’t think she should have gotten the Oscar. Of course I would have loved Angela Bassett to win for Wakanda Forever because that was a beautiful film and her performance was beyond anything you could ever expect from a superhero movie. But if someone from EEAO was going to win, it should have been Stephanie Hsu. The movie doesn’t work without her. You could take JLC and her character out of the film and it would stand perfectly soundly. But if you take out Hsu, it all falls apart. The movie required her to be a chameleon; almost every time you see her on screen, she’s playing a different part of the same character. She is a formidable foil to Yeoh, and the chemistry between the two of them is off the charts. 

God, that movie really is just so fucking good. Promise me if you haven’t watched it, you will. Then give me a full report. It’s weird and wild and fun and sad and everything and nothing and just bloody brilliant. 

There was also a lot of deserved controversy around The Whale. I refuse to see it because it’s not art, it’s exploitive of fat people. I will link to a couple of pieces written by actual fat people (Lindy West and Roxane Gay) and why it’s problematic, but woof. When it won for best makeup (like WTF) we explained to the kiddo that they put a man in a fat suit and that it was insulting and unkind to do that, and he was irate for the rest of the night. I’m happy that Brendan Fraser is back and acting, but I’m sorry, him winning an Oscar for such a gross movie really hurts my heart. And as someone who has experienced so much pain at the hands of the industry, for him to not see the harm this film will do to the larger societal narrative around fatness and fat people is really concerning. But white men are gonna white men, and the only thing we can do is try to take them to task for it.

What I’m Reading

I just finished reading a wonderful queer young adult book, I Will Find You Again by Sarah Lyu, for Autostraddle. It’s about a girl who has to put together what happened to the girl she used to love, who was also her best friend. It was hauntingly beautiful. 

I’m currently reading an advanced copy of Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick also for AS. Most of the reading I’m doing for the next few months is work related, lol. This one is about a girl who loses her memory in an accident and forgets two years of her life, including the girl she loves. 

What I’m Watching

We binged History of the World Pt. II on Hulu this week. Beth is a huge Mel Brooks fan and this was a very fun sequel. Some of it dragged on, but overall it was really funny! The celebrity cameos were stellar, and I’m amazed at how they made it work. 

I’m very excited to watch the new season of Ted Lasso this weekend! I’ve missed the team at AFC Richmond, and I’m excited to see where they are now. While we’re watching Apple TV+, we might go back to Shrinking. It’s an enjoyable show where Jason Siegel plays a therapist who is mourning the death of his wife and is trying to figure out how to continue his practice. Harrison Ford plays his boss, a loveable curmudgeon who’s trying to figure his life out as well.

Now Read This

Zaya Wade’s gender resistance: Dazed Magazine

How Janelle Monáe Is Reviving the Harlem Renaissance in Brooklyn by Shelli Nicole

Queer people grow old, too: Huck Magazine

The Cruel Spectacle of ‘The Whale’ by Roxane Gay

The Whale is not a masterpiece – it’s a joyless, harmful fantasy of fat squalor by Lindy West